Thursday, February 24, 2011

A Diary of Ray. (Part 6)

6

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1st March, Life is a game. Friendship is not an exception, with true friends, they make every moment of the game worth your while . Love is like a guitar , the music might stop , the string might be broken , but the feelings of playing the guitar will remain forever.

We're through. Joe and I. Nothing can drag us close again anymore. My heart at war , a war between friendship and love. Its my fault for choosing everything without preparing , and now i'd lost my friend , I'd lost my confidence in loving. Even though i know , all is fair in love and war, it doesnt make me feel any better.

Joe and I havent talked in weeks already. Christine found out about the both of us. I can see from her messages , she is worried. I ignored her , Joe ignored me. I dont know what is in my heart , what is my desire anymore. Fixing things among Christine and I ain't gonna make me happy , make me proud of what im doing.

How I wish to let Joe know that I'd really miss the times we'd spent together , the old times we used to play soccer on the small road infront of that rusty gate of mine , the times we used to swim in a small lake at the end of the road , the times he used to push me so I can swing higher on that big tree at the park. Joe is not just a friend to me , he is more than a brother.

This is a chance to make up my mind , the girl I'd known for months? Or a friend we used to do everything together. God, give me strength.

My mind is clear , I'd made my decision ..


.


5th March , I asked Christine out for dinner , a dinner she will never forget. I prepared a square table , covered with my mother's flowery cloth. Hung little linked rainbow light bulbs on the tree in the garden , the tree with the swing Joe and I used to swing on. The weather was perfect , stars blinked as they are watching my plan moved on perfectly. Prepared 2 plates of spaghetti and a red candle , to make the scene romantic. Christine arrived after the park was cleared up. Wearing the red dress she used to wear in Pulau Redang. A smile was pasted under her nose as she was showing how happy she is. She moved closer and gave me a kiss.

" What is this about Ray? " She asked after she placed herself on that comfy chair I prepared for her. I shushed her when i placed my finger on her lips , and started eating. The glimmers on that tree made brought us romance , i replaced red wine with my mother's orange juice from the fridge. The whole eating scene was so silent , we can only hear the crickets sing.

On the other side of the table , Christine is sitting there , looking at me with the big wide smile and round beautiful eyes of hers. I tried to pull a smile on my face , eventually i failed. Spaghetti was stuffed into our stomach minutes later. She started making small talk, telling me funny jokes , but my heart wasnt in it , i remained silent as she searched my eyes for an answer. AN answer to a question i dont know.

By the time she found out something went wrong , she walked across the table and kissed me gently . "I'm here for you Ray." she whispered and hugged me. Not knowing what am I doing , I pushed her off gently. I reached into my pocket and took a small heart shaped box. Its a little necklace I bought for her , a little something I prepared for her. I placed that necklace on her neck , her beauty might stun every living thing on erath. She was told to keep the box , for a special propose. We embraced the sky after that , she shifted closer. Moonlight shone upon the waves on the lakes , light reflected on the necklace I gave her. I stared at her , looking deeply into her eyes , I can tell you have the preetiest eye in the world.

Time is ticking , I have to do what I am inteding to. " I gotta clean the table Christine" I said softly. She nodded . I left her sight and that maybe the last time I am going to get so close to her , maybe the last time I'll see her. I cleaned the table as fast as i could , packed everything and went to the dumpster. By the time i come back , Christine was crying beside the tree . She shouted " YOU LIED! " again... and again. I hid under the big slope beside the tree. Tears began to roll down my cheeks , my heart began to ache real bad. Im sorry Christine..

I'd told you whatever I wanted to in that letter .The letter i left under the box..


To Be Continued ..

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